How I Think About the Year Ahead (and Why I Start with Priorities, Not Goals)

As January draws to a close, we wanted to pause the noise of “new year, new me” and instead offer something quieter and more grounded.

Ruth works in tech, lives in Paris, is married with two young children, is learning French, loves Peloton, and — perhaps most importantly — is deeply faith-filled. She’s also an experienced life coach and has worked closely with us at Still Waters, helping create space for reflection, rest, and clarity.

In this conversation, Ruth offers us a thoughtful and grounded way of thinking about the year ahead — one shaped more by clarity than by pressure.

How do you approach a new year? Do you set goals?

I do set goals, but I try not to start there.

Over time, I’ve realised that the issue with most New Year’s resolutions isn’t motivation or discipline — it’s clarity. Goals are useful, but they don’t hold unless they’re anchored to something deeper.

Before I set goals, I’ve learned that I need clarity on my priorities first — and yes, they’re different.

Goals are specific and measurable. They tell you what to do.

Priorities are the areas of life you’ve consciously decided matter most. Goals sit within them.

For me, priorities act as anchors for any action plan and as filters for decision-making. Without them, it’s easy to say yes to too much and spread energy across areas that don’t truly deserve focus.

So how do you identify your priorities?

I tend to think in terms of what I call the “six Fs”: Faith, Finance, Family, Friends, Fun, and Fulfilment at work (encapsulating calling, ministry, purpose, business, and work).

Once a year, I reflect on each area and loosely score my satisfaction from 1 to 10. Where scores are lower, I don’t rush to fix them. Instead, I ask whether this is actually something I want or need to shift — and whether I have the motivation and capacity to do so.

Used annually, it’s less of a plan and more of a barometer. It helps me notice where life feels aligned and where change might be needed, without turning everything into a problem to solve.

Once you’re clear on priorities, how do they actually shape your day-to-day decision-making?

Within my core priorities, I’ll set a small number of achievable goals. I often ask what would move an area up by just one point this year, rather than trying to overhaul everything at once.

A good example came after reading The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry. I realised I wanted to shift how we approached rest as a family. We made small, practical changes: no food shopping at weekends, the last clothes wash on a Friday, and phones off as much as possible from Saturday to Sunday.

None of it was dramatic, but it made a substantial difference. It helped separate the working week from weekend rest.

Over time, I’ve noticed that our priorities don’t change dramatically year on year. Their order may shift, or one may move forward while another recedes, but the core priorities remain relatively stable. Goals underneath them can be achieved, replaced, or dropped entirely. The priorities themselves provide the structure that holds everything else in place.

Because of that, I try to be realistic about what I hold at any one time. I think we can hold three main priorities well. For me, over the past few years, those have been Faith, Family, and Fulfilment at work. These are the big stones — the non-negotiables that don’t get pushed aside.

Alongside those, I allow myself two or three smaller, more seasonal focus areas. These might be exercise, friendships, or improving my French. The key is that these are the first to move when something else comes in. If I say yes to dinner with a friend, I might drop an evening focused on French that week.

I’m quite ruthless about this — and I don’t feel bad for it.

Clarity on priorities makes saying no much easier and helps keep the right blend week to week.

From the outside, your life looks full. How do you think about balance?

I’ve actually stopped using the word “balance”.

Over time, as I’ve become clearer about my priorities, I’ve also become more intentional about the language I use to describe my life. I try to say “full” instead of “busy”, and “blend” instead of “balance”.

Balance implies there’s a perfect state to reach. I don’t think there is one. Life feels more like a blend, with different priorities rising and falling depending on the season.

You touched on some rhythms that enable you to rest more as a family. Are there any others that feature in your week?

Faith-wise, I began getting up early for quiet time with my Bible — but with flexibility. Sleep and family life still come first.

More recently, we’ve started praying together briefly before leaving for school. Even on chaotic mornings, even when it feels a little trivial. After a few weeks, the girls began asking for it themselves, which has felt really special.

Are there areas of life that still feel unclear this year?

Yes — fulfilment at work feels less clearly defined for me right now.

And I’ve learned not to rush that.

I’ve named it as important, but I don’t yet know what it will look like in practice this year. Part of my process is intentionally leaving space: to pray into it, to listen, and to notice rather than fill the gap with goals.

Not every priority needs a fully formed plan from the outset. Sometimes the priority is simply paying attention and allowing clarity to emerge over time.

Any final thoughts for someone reading this at the end of January?

This isn’t about having a perfect plan for the year ahead.

It’s about choosing a small number of priorities that reflect the season you’re actually in — and letting them guide your yeses and nos.

When priorities are clear, decisions become simpler, guilt lessens, and life begins to feel more intentional.

And perhaps the end of January isn’t a failure point at all.

Maybe it’s where clarity finally has space to arrive.

If it feels helpful, you may wish to pause here, perhaps with a pen and paper, and allow yourself to reflect slowly.

• Before setting new goals, what priorities might you need to clarify first?

• What are the three “big stones” in your life in this season?

• Where could a “one-point” shift be enough for now?

• What might need to move — without guilt — when something else takes priority?

• Is there an area that needs space and prayer rather than a plan?

To find out more about Ruth’s work as a life coach, you can visit her website here: Link

If you’d like to explore Still Waters retreats and the space we create for rest, reflection, and clarity, you can find out more here: Link